Feeling Alive
by BloodRaven1996
Summary: She wanted to end it all, she didn't want to watch the only people she had left die. So she decided to take matters in to her own hands. One-shot. Warning this story contains suicide,self harm. You have been warned, don't like, don't read. Kenny and Clem,Please comment and review please!


**Hello everyone! This is my oneshot of Kenny and Clem.**

**Warning this story contains fluff, self harm,suicide attempt.**

**I know clem isn't the suicide self harm type but I was bored as hell, also this oneshot goes out to one of my favorite writers SavL7 :-) I hope you like it and I hope your okay.**

**this also based of my ending of season 2, with Clem,Kenny and Aj ending after they leave wellington with Kenny, if you don't like this then.**

**I own nothing!**

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><p>Feeling Alive<p>

I was sitting in an abandon car with Aj wrapped up in my arms, it stopped snowing a while ago, we've be sitting here for the last five minutes waiting for Kenny to get a fire started, he managed to gather some wood from the forest, bringing it to the small camp site we made, the temperature was starting to drop quickly, so Kenny told me to stay in the car with Aj so we could try to keep warm.

If it weren't for the supplies that Edith gave us, we would have been screwed days ago, and Aj would have starved to death. We have two tents set up, we have two first aid kits and plenty of water from the stream. But we were starting to go low on food, so that means me and Kenny have to go hunting or scouting in abandon towns to find us something to get us by.

Edith told us we could try to check in a few months, to see if theirs any room for all of us, so we can't be separated.

The sun was out, as some of the snow was starting to melt a little, not by much though, and this little car wasn't really keeping us warm, while Aj was still asleep peacefully in my small arms.

I got out of the car to go check on Kenny, I didn't want him to be alone in the cold.

I walked a few feet out in the snow, now slowly turning into slush, I saw Kenny standing over a small pit of flames, he looked up at me with his one eye and smile softly at me.

"You got a fire started." I said with relief, not breaking my eye contact with him.

"Yeah, I did." he said with some pride."It was a pain in ass at first because of the snow, but I got it to light."

I stood next to him, looking deep into the now roaring fire, Aj started to stir as he opened his little brown eyes, that met my yellow ones.

"Here, let me take him." Kenny picked him up."Hey little guy, did you have a nice nap." he cooed at him, looking at the small infant with love in his eye.

I turned to the fire, rubbing my hands and holding them out so I could get warm, the fire crackled over the roaring flames, burning the chopped wood.

"Hey Clem." the beared man looked at me with his one hazel eye.""Can you please make a bottle for him, I think Aj is hungry again." He rocked the small infant, trying to calm down.

I ran over to the bag of supplies, finding the glass bottle along with the bag of powder, pulling it out as I grabbed a bottle of water. I stood up turning towards Kenny as soon as I started to walk, I lost my footing slipping on the ice as I lost control of my grip on the glass bottle, shattering in to little pieces right in front of me

I cures under my breath as Kenny watched, he walked over towards me.

"Damn it Clementine!" He swore at me." That was the only bottle we had, now what are we going to do now!?"

I looked at him with golden eyes, trying to hold it all in."I'm sorry...Kenny...will figure something out."

He sighed, trying to calm Aj down as he gave me a dark scowl, he gonna be mad at me for a while, maybe I should have stayed in wellington, so I wasn't in the way all the time, being a burden on Kenny all the time,he told me want me to try to be a kid, but I just can't be anymore. I have to grow up and be an adult or at least try to be, even if I have my 'bad thoughts'.

Theses thoughts that make me wanna...

"Clem, are you listening to me?" Kenny snapped.

I looked at him.

"Can you make your self useful and bring back some more wood, day light is burning and some one needs to watch Aj." He said."Do you still have you're gun?"

"Yeah." I pulled it out.

"Good, get going then." He turned away from me, going back to the fire.

I sighed. I'm always going to mess things up, I remembered when I cut saritas arm off, back at carvers camp, back then I thought kenny was going to kill me, or just hate me forever.

I didn't want to lose Kenny, not again he's the only thing I have left in this world besides Aj, I didn't know Kenny too much back at the motor inn, but I knew he cared about me and lee, he took care of us, and ever since then I didn't want to be alone.

He was nothing like my dad, he is nothing like lee.

He was Kenny, the broken man with nothing in this world but me and Aj.

But part of me feels like that isn't enough anymore, I mean were all going to die sooner or later, and part of me wants that to come sooner then later.

I walked through the woods, through the slushy snow, the pine trees were still covered in it as the sky began to turn grey all around me, I guess we were getting another storm soon.

I started to look for twigs and small branches, anything I can use for the fire, then I looked don at my arm and noticed omething.

My hand was bleeding, a shard of glass from the bottle had cut through my coat, slitting my wrist and palm open, it wasn't too deep. But I didn't feel it, the only thing was coming out was the bright crimson liquid.

I slowly pulled my coat off, the glass had cut through my shirt as well,right below it was my dog bite scar. Along with my other scars.

My cutting scars, my way of releasing the pain, the guilt, the shame I carry with me every day.

What is the point of living? Everyone I know and care about either dies because of me, or leaves me, so why should I stay alive? Kenny doesn't want me anymore, I'm the reason his girlfriend is dead, I'm the reason why lee is dead, so why should I keep living? I'm a killer.

I can't keep putting Kenny through this.

Ever since I got Omid killed I started to hurt my self, besides cutting my self. I would burn, starve, and some times punch a tree so hard I'd almost break my own bones so I could feel something besides grief.

I layed against a tree, I was still holding the glass shard, I gripped it hard as I watched my blood covering it. Turning it pure red as the thick coppery smell filled my nose. I was used to this smell by now, and it felt good.

I pulled my sleeve all the way up, as I guided my hand to my skin, pushing it in as I watched my blood flow out of my forearm, blood drop on to the snow, turning it in to slush, I winced every now and then but I didn't feel it, it was too cold to feel anything at this point. After that I threw the glass away.

I looked over at my gun holder, staring at it like a new toy in the window of a shop.

I could feel my little hands shake, as I reached over for it, I grasped the handle of it. Pulling it up towards me, kind of glinting at me a little, as if it was telling me to use it. I could feel my entire body shake.

This is it, I was finally going to be with my parents, and lee.

I tilted the gun towards my temple, putting the cold metal next to my head, feeling my little finger on the trigger getting ready to pull it.

Then a voice cried out.

"Clementine Stop!"

I opened my eyes as I saw the owner of the voice.

Kenny.

His eyes were wide with horror, he was running to me."Put the gun down, NOW!" He screamed with anger.

I dropped the gun, hitting the cold snowy ground. Then with out even thinking, I started to run like hell. Picking my self up as I saw more blood gushing out of my arm, but that didn't seem to matter to me, all I did was run.

I didn't know where I was running to, I just knew I had to get away.

Then I looked behind me, big mistake.

Kenny wasn't far behind me, just barely two feet from me. He looked pissed, yet kind of worried at the same time.

Then I tripped on some ice, landing on my side as my blood soaked in to the cold snow. I tried to get up, but I felt someone flip me over on my side, I looked up and saw Kenny looking down at me with worried eyes. Tears leaving his one good eye while the other was still patched up, but I could tell he was upset instead on angry.

"What the fuck did you try to do!?" He yelled, as his good eye widen, making me jump a little.

He then looked down at my arm, all bloody and cut up to hell, like someone went at it with a saw."Clem..." he trailed off."Why?"

I shook my head as tears began to leave my eyes. I didn't want to tell him.

After a few minutes he sighed. Then he picked me up in his strong arms, cradling me in them, like my father use to when I was little, I rested my head on his shoulder, as my tears hit it.

It felt like forever until we reached back to our camp, Aj was in a small makeshift of a cot, fast asleep.

Then Kenny sat me down in front of the fire."Wait here." He said a bit angered still, I looked in to the flames of the fire pit, it felt good good being warm.

A few minutes later he returned with a first aid kit, looking at me with sorrow, as he brought the medical kit over to me.

He took out some bandages and disinfection for the wounds, the ones I did to my self so I could feel something.

Kenny gently poured a little disinfection on, I winced a little, then he grabbed the roll of bandages, wrapping them tightly.

"Now," he said softly."I want you to tell me what happened."

I looked at him, tears leaving my eyes again, I started to tell him why I tried doing this. Telling him everything was my fault, that I'm the reason everyone is dead, telling him that I don't deserve to live anymore or else he would die because of me. He caressed my cheek wiping my tears away as he listen to my pathetic sob story, I felt so weak and pathetic.

"Oh darlin." He grabbed me, rubbing my back in circles."None of this is your fault." He whispered." You can't keep blaming your self for things you didn't do." He said.

I started to sob harder.

"Hush, it's okay." He coddled me." I'm right here, I won't let anything bad happen to you, we made it this far." He said." We can take on this world Clem, your stronger then you think you are, and lee would be very proud of you."

I then looked up at him, he took his thumb and wiped another tear away.

For once I felted loved, I haven't had this feeling in a while, the last time I felt like this was back when lee was alive, back when everything didn't feel so fucked up, back when kenny had a family, but now me and Aj was his family.

For once I was feeling alive.


End file.
